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(( Warning: Yaoi. Scotland/England,  Scott/Arthur. <3 ))

I've been driving this cab for almost twenty years, mostly around these parts of London. Thought I'd seen it all. Did you know I once had a guy bring his dog in here? Can you believe that? Damn dog jumps into the back seat and then decides to jump out the window at 45 miles an hour. The guy didn't even blink. He just tells me, "I never liked that dog anyway!" You believe that? I tell ya, I get all kinds in here. But the most incredible time was when these two flagged me down the other day.

I'll never forget those two. The somewhat shorter one with blonde hair and the other's fire red. Both incredible green eyes you could feel poking in your back, and both obviously drank too much. So they flag me down and I pull over. They jump in the back, laughing and having the time of their lives. I look at the redhead in the rearview mirror and ask him where he's from. You know, just to make conversation. He says, ''Edinburgh'', with an accent that probably has to do with his hometown. That, or just because he's drunk.

Then I ask, where to? And the blonde says, ''Just drive.''

I've been in this business long enough to know that if you want a good tip, you just keep your eyes looking straight ahead and don't ask questions. So that's what I do. I switch on the radio. I figure a little melody just to break the quiet, ya know?

So the blonde pipes up from the back. He's looking at my license, sees my name and says, "John, you know a place where we can get a decent whiskey?" And I tell him, yeah, sure. I've been in the business for a long time, so I know all the good places. Then he says, all out of the blue "John, my name is Arthur and this is Scott. John, did you know that Scott has the most beautiful chest I've ever licked?"

Well, by now, he's laughing. Scott is laughing. But I gotta tell ya, I'm beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. So there we are, cruising along at 45 miles an hour. I'm looking straight ahead, but in the rear view mirror, I see Scott diving down, completely out of view. Next thing I know, Arthur's clothes are starting to come flying over into the front seat. I kid you not. And they're giggling and laughing the whole time.

So we're driving – and mind you, it was pretty cold that day, so the windows are starting to steam up – and the next thing that comes over the front seat is Scott's shirt. Well, now I know some funny stuff is going on, so I'm about to look in the rear view mirror again, but as I turn, Arthur's foot hits me in the head. I mean, he's spread eagle in the back seat and Scott is going at him like a mad dog licking up a bowl of milk. I mean, this guy is tonguing the blonde between the legs and he's on cloud nine, moaning the redhead's name. Arthur's got one leg behind my head and the other resting on top of the back seat, clear on the other side of the cab. He's got nothing on, totally naked except for his tie and watch.

Meanwhile, Scott is going at him like a house on fire. He's on his knees, running his tongue all over Arthur's body, stuffing each nipple into his mouth and sucking like a starved baby. The blonde's on his back, practically yelling into my ear, "Suck my dick more, Scott! Suck it!" which, of course, he wastes no time in doing.

So now we're on the highway doing sixty with the windows completely fogged and Scott is sucking on the blonde, who's screaming how he's about to come and I'm trying to keep the cab on the road.

The redhead's licking and sucking and grunting and biting the other. To be honest, it's getting pretty warm in there. But that don't stop Scott. Right around the midtown exit, he strips completely naked, leans back, looks straight at the other with eyes clouded with lust and begins plunging his cock into Arthur. I mean, these two start going at it like two crazed dogs. Pumping and humping like there's no tomorrow. Scott gives him two short strokes, then bangs him with three really deep ones, real hard. Then two more short strokes. I could hear the juices squishing and constant thumping in the back seat. But I don't say nothing.

By the time we reach uptown, both of them are writhing around the back seat. Arthur is sliding around on the leather and Scott is just hammering away, grunting like a bear. Now we're doing about eighty.
Arthur is screaming that he's about to come and even Scott is beginning to crack. I could tell, because his eyes were completely shut and his rythm becomes unsteady.

So now Arthur starts coming, begging Scott to ram him even harder, which he does. Wham, wham, wham, wham – his hips slapping against the others cheeks. Then, all of a sudden, Scott backs up a little and spreads the others legs real wide, and moves them up over his blonde hair. I get a full view of the scene, little beads of sweat rolling down shaking thighs. Scott leans over to messily kiss the other, while ramming right back into him, harder and deeper than before. Their moaning in between their panting becomes higher pitched and shortly after, Arthur arches his back, gripping onto the leather of the backseat and yells out the others name. Scott follows suit, moaning against the pulse in the others neck.

Then the blonde collapses. Then the redhead collapses.


And that, officer, is pretty much how the accident happened.
(( I was being random with a friend and this happened XD
Picture not drawn by me, its from photobucket and I had it saved onto my pc (so I have no link back, sorry) Ill update with the link when I find it again C: <333 ))
Add a Comment:
 
:iconladyblackbird13:
ladyblackbird13 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2015
Poor cabbie! XD
Reply
:iconcyancellofish:
cyancellofish Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2015
Did the cab driver still get paid?
Reply
:iconartsyanimegirl123:
artsyanimegirl123 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2014
I laughed the first time and I read it again and I laughed so hard until my little sis asked me if I was okay..
Reply
:iconyagrlelyse001:
yaGrlelyse001 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
Lord!...O_o
Reply
:iconmatinaru:
matinaru Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
oh my god! i love this beyond words! this story was very clever and off the beaten path of yaois ive read. well done my friend!!
btw, i adore the pairing.
Reply
:iconkotetsunumani:
KotetsuNumani Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a new reason for me to stalk taxis now.
Reply
:iconjini-sama:
Jini-sama Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I want to be that driver... very badly. And that ending is flippin' hilarious, just as good as another ending of a story I read that ended with the line, "Like a fucking BOSS." :lol: Love this to death :D
Reply
:iconruneharkin:
RuneHarkin Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012
God that lucky lucky driver,, how i wish i can be there.
Reply
:iconkagurasohma111:
KaguraSohma111 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
............I love the ending
Reply
:iconteddy172:
teddy172 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
O_o...THAT WAS AWESOME SO SUSPENFUL AND A GREAT KICKER AT THE END THANK YOU FOR A WONDERFUL STORY.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconemo-kaylah:
Emo-Kaylah Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2011
Am I the only one who'd want to be that driver?
XD and I love the last line from now on I shall use it(as long as you're fine with it :D) when ever I get in trouble with the cops XD
Reply
:iconolistebarmarzexdem:
olistebarmarzexdem Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2011
OAO :iconnosebleedplz: Omg.... I've....got...to...send...this....too....SCOTTY!! *forwards to Scotland* (btw: I'm an Iggy cosplay =A= that was awesome)
Reply
:iconthelastpip:
TheLastPip Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011
MY MIND. HAS BEEN FUCKED. I LOVE YOU!!!
Reply
:iconcinamongirl:
CinamonGirl Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
i feel a bit sorry for the cab driver...
Reply
:iconpunk1019:
punk1019 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2011
And then the nose bleed started *-*
Reply
:iconshareq:
Shareq Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2011
Okay, I know this was posted a pretty long time ago, but I just have to say. Hot damn.

That was glorious.
Reply
:icondeiichi-seishou:
Deiichi-Seishou Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011
........OMFG!..... LOVE IT.
Reply
:iconniamhyzart:
niamhyzart Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011
O_O I- I- I-

I LOVED IT!
Reply
:iconcorupted-data:
Corupted-Data Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2011  Professional General Artist
My girlfriend sent this to me
A: because i cosplay iggy
B: because im going to cosplay scotland soon
all i can say, is that it was worth her getting me into this pairing, just for that last sentance XD
that kept me laughing for 10 minuits
Reply
:iconkawaiidesucosplayer:
KawaiiDesuCosplayer Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
feefwbfkfnqkjnfkjqnfkjnkqjfnkjlqenfk!!!! xDDDD lol!!

thats why u dun has sexy time in the bak of a cab, cause ull distract the driver xD *flails*
Reply
:iconjudi80:
judi80 Featured By Owner May 27, 2011
OMG X'''D
Reply
:iconprickert:
Prickert Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
W-well. That was nice.
Reply
:iconlollipopsickle:
LolliPopsickle Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2011
oh god xD they would do that too
Reply
:iconyugoslavian-princess:
{{-Just died for a moment- Poor cab driver XD}}
Reply
:iconkillie102:
killie102 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2011
I think I may have died there. Great description. Wish I was there. :impervyplz:
Reply
:iconstrawberrypockystix:
strawberrypockystix Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2011
O////O Sweet mother of all that is good and green- This just made my sick day a MILLION times better.

*Bows* You brilliant person you. :clap:
Reply
:iconaph--scotland:
Aph--Scotland Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2011
Haha, glad it brightened up your day XD <3 ))
Reply
:icon13th-musician:
13th-Musician Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Damn my mouth was open the entire time. I couldn't close it no matter how much I tried. I can't say anything about how random this story turned out. My mind is asking though... What accident?! As for the pic, I've also seen it on photobucket, but it was such a while back when I found it that I can't remember what the link was. I'll go look for the pic, then when I find it, I'll give you the link~ My help for your wonderful, and kinky, story.
Reply
:iconaph--scotland:
Aph--Scotland Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2010
(( Thank you so much ! XD And you really dont have to go through all that trouble for me <3 Im glad you enjoyed reading, and being the Scotland/England stalker I am, Ill stumble upon the picture again soon ^^ <3
Merry christmas and a happy new year, in advance, too >W< ))
Reply
:icon13th-musician:
13th-Musician Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome! Are you sure? I can go look for it. Ok then, it's your call. I did enjoy reading it and I hope you write more Scotland/England fanfics!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, in advance, to you too! :D
Reply
:iconaph--scotland:
Aph--Scotland Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2011
Its ok really, but thank you <3 >W<
Haha when I have another random afternoon with my friend I shall! XD
Thank you >w<
Reply
:icon13th-musician:
13th-Musician Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
^-^
Haha, cool~!
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconnano-desu13:
nano-desu13 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2010  Student General Artist
*stares at the screen blankly and starts to drool*

Hot. Damn.

And this, my friend, is why cab drivers should carry video cameras with them at all times. All. Times.
Reply
:iconaph--scotland:
Aph--Scotland Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2011
(( IKR. THEY SHOULD MAKE A LAW FOR THAT ))
Reply
:iconnano-desu13:
nano-desu13 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Student General Artist
(JESUS, THEY REALLY SHOULD.)
Reply
:iconlemonkeygirl-returns:
lemonkeygirl-returns Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2010
That. That. Niiiiiiiiice.....
Reply
:iconaph--scotland:
Aph--Scotland Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2011
(( XDD ))
Reply
:iconseoul-train:
Seoul-Train Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2010   Traditional Artist
Hahaha.
If I were the cab driver, I would've stopped the car and watched them.
Video-tape in hand an all (AND LIKE SHOW IT TO HUNGARY FOR APPROVAL*SHOT*).
Reply
:iconaph--scotland:
Aph--Scotland Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2011
(( PFFF XDDD Id so have done the same XD....or maybe already have secret cameras in my cab hurr hurr |D ))
Reply
:iconnorth-ireland-aph-rp:
((...I think....my soul just...had a fiesta. Hot damn. XDD
I love you man.
Seriously.
/seizures

...-cough- : D
....
/can't get over this

L-LOL, AT LEAST SCOTTY DIDN'T GO ALL SADIST LIKE USUAL. ))
Reply
:iconaph--scotland:
Aph--Scotland Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2010
(( *FIESTAS WITH YOUR SOULLLLL* XD <3
Well~....Maybe he did after...~.....ok no he didnt >3>;;....<3 ))
Reply
:iconnorth-ireland-aph-rp:
North-Ireland-Aph-RP Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2010
(( Fieeessstaaa : D -throws confetti- -blue confetti, because that's the only good confetti-
LOLOL Well, when the police or whatever are helping them get out of the car from the carcrash, he could have closed Iggy's hand in the door. On purpose. :XD: But played it off as an accident. ))
Reply
:iconpanhandling:
PanHandling Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
*fans self* Oh my, Scott~ I didn't know you had it in you! Then again, what more could I expect from a perverted Kirkland? >:9

Oh, how I wish I could have been there! <3333
Reply
:iconaph--scotland:
Aph--Scotland Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2010
*gets a little red and helps fanning* Heh >/3/>...Ye dannae mean tha', ye tease *grins somewhat*...'r dae ye;
Reply
:iconpanhandling:
PanHandling Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
But of course I do. I've got a new camera too, so that would have been nice. *winks playfully, holding up her righteous new camera*
Reply
:iconaph--scotland:
Aph--Scotland Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2010
*shifts akwardly and rubs the back of his neck*
Och nae. Tae view'f tha'd ruin tae mood *chuckles lightheartedly*
But'f ye can hide't >3>~..
Reply
:iconpanhandling:
PanHandling Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
((BEAUTIFUL OH MY GOSH <3333))
Reply
:iconaph--scotland:
Aph--Scotland Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2010
(( Thank you haha ;w; <3333 ))
Reply
:iconpanhandling:
PanHandling Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
((Thank YOU for writing. You should totally write some KoreaChina))
Reply
:iconaph--scotland:
Aph--Scotland Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2010
(( Ill see what I can do XD <333 ))
Reply
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